Waiter will you take my order,…

I would like to start with all of the resources that I need to finish this looming project. 

For the main course I would like a time to get this monster of piece into my body

Enough with the restaurant analogy,…I have to figure out a way to prepare the myriad of projects that I have on the go.  I have been splitting up my time pretty well up until this point.  BUT,..I have a feeling that I am going to be bit in the butt!! as these deadlines approach.

I have to make a BIG push to get everything that I need to get done before things blow up in my face.  On the upside,.. I absolutely love everything that I am working on right now so I think I will be motivated to put in more time!!

Life is lovely right now,..I just have to not screw it up. 

Maybe for dessert I will ask for some sleep.

HAHA!!

a day in the life

Wake up,..zzzz,…no,. no,. I must,..zzzzz, no I must wake up,..zzzz ok, I am annoying everyone in the room.,… alright I am up! Phew!

Shower-lovely, breakfast-average, car ride-boring, parking-sweet spot

Epic library book return, spooky quiet music building, coffee-mmm, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK

go for a walk-hand in my paper, copy WE score-run out of copies-sigh

Have a great chat with an ASU grad

MUST GET BACK TO WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK,

LUNCH-mmm sandwich

WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, coffee, WORK

OK-LET’S DO THIS

Up on the Podium-GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO,

Did it really just sound like that? weird! THEY WILL FIX IT, I LOVE THOSE PEOPLE!! WOOO WE

DEBRIEF with teacher- wow,…lot’s to fix!! BUT I feel it went well!!

THEN

TALK TALK TALK  TALK!!  my teacher is great!

RUSH home-no guitar student! fooey

food, talk with je,  clean, blog, paper (edit), score study, kiss je, sleep,

REPEAT!! <3

1 hr into 2010

1 hr into 2010 and I have already learned a few things

1. It is ok to get into a brawl in front of the manger
2. My wife is a woo girl
3. If you want to see nudity just hang out at Wellington and Central
4. There is Weed in Ontario, LOTS of it.

Happy New Year-Hello 2010

This year is the year of possibilities.  I am at a crossroad.  I have two auditions coming up and I am exited about the prospect of moving to the US for my DMA.  However, I am worried that if I am not successful in my auditions that we will be purposeless for a year.  I have a plan B cooking in my head.  I will share it if I need to go down that road. 

Auditions!!  I am going to give it my 110%

GRE test I have to complete it by Feb

Resolutions?  I don’t know, I’ll think about it.

Whatever happens,..I will find a way to be happy!

Happy New Year Everyone!

wee hours

When I am going to school, I keep a regular schedule.  I am usually at school by 8am everyday so I can maximize the working day.  However, now that I am on holidays I am starting to adopt Jennifer’s schedule.  It is currently 2:34am, and instead of sleeping I am writing on my blog.  tonight was productive.  I am almost finished the annotated bibliography, I have 2 more sources which means I will finish tomorrow.  Also, I powered through the harmony for the entire Gabrieli piece that I am performing this term.  The harmony wasn’t that difficult so it was easy to complete it quickly.  The Dello Joio will NOT be as easy.  Still on the to do list:

Finish Dello Joio Score study (I have started), paper boo, finish Gabrielli Score Study. 

Start Beethoven!! YAY. 

Holiday Indulgence

     Time!  What a luxury.  I have had time to relax, read, and work on projects that need to be finished before Jan. 4.  Today, for instance, I am sitting by the fire, reading a book, with my two puppies.  Jennifer is at work today so I thought today would be a good day to work.  I have a large to do list for the break but I am feeling ok about it because I am enjoying the comforts of home. 

I have to

• Complete my research seminar paper (due Jan 4)
• Finish my annotated bibliography (about 60% through and on page 38)
• Score Study for Wind Ensemble
• Complete a small project for my TA

It is a lot of work, but it will all be done.  I am pretty excited about the next term.  I am almost finished all of my academics, and will be able to focus more of my energy on conducting, and preparing for auditions in February. 

Christmas was lovely, we slept in, opened presents, played vidya games (I haven’t done this in a LONG time), and had an amazing Christmas Dinner.  Jennifer gave me GPS.  I think she got me the GPS because she knows how much I wanted it, and because she is tired of me giving her wrong directions. 

Boxing Day!  I drove Jenny to work and got a new pair of shoes.  The mall was a zoo.  Blah!!

Here are some of my favourite Christmas pictures

 

pictures

Gremlins part II

Gremlin’ is a well known term in coaching circles representing the ‘inner critic,’ a personification of the negative inner voice. Gremlins are conceived through the passing along of negative or self defeating messages which have been internalized throughout life. Well meaning parents, teachers, siblings and associates who like our selves are challenged intermittently with the voices of the gremlin have (unconsciously) passed these along. When the voice of the gremlin overpowers our authentic voice, it can feel difficult to go after what we most desire, as we become plagued by self doubt, fear, or feelings of low esteem.
Gremlins are discouraging, and can easily convince us that we are not capable or worthy of being, having, or doing what we desire to experience in life. At times, it may appear as though there are insurmountable obstacles blocking us from realizing our goals, such as: writing that book, starting a new business, losing weight, healing a relationship, etc.
Gremlins may discourage you from speaking up for yourself, or act to obscure your own needs in favor of others’. Gremlins also nurture feelings of low self esteem, which can prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities. Familiar messages such as "I’m not good enough" or "I can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t succeed" are expressions of the gremlin. Gremlins make it very easy to envision a “worst case scenario” for every situation.
My role as a coach involves ‘co-creating’ a space that allows the individual to remember his or her innate magnificence. This is particularly crucial at times of transition, when it is easy to lose touch with one’s authentic nature, in addition to the truth and power that is within. When moving into new territory, as in committing to a new venture, gremlins emerge because they are invested in keeping you safe and protected from imagined threats and failures. If we resist the voices of our gremlins we may ‘white knuckle it’ through life’s challenges, but I have found their influence grows when we choose to deny or ignore them.
A gremlin’s influence can be so compelling and powerful that it becomes difficult to distinguish between the gremlin’s voice and what our own heart is communicating. Without a supportive structure, it can be impossible to keep your vision for your life in clear sight. As a life coach I ask powerful questions in addition to utilizing a variety of empowering tools to assist individuals in remembering and accessing more of their own inner wisdom, creativity, and power.
Have you ever had the experience of being chased in a dream and it seemed that the harder you ran from a shadowy pursuer, the tougher it was to shake them off? Dream interpreters suggest that if an individual has such a nightmare, he or she is actually making a conscious, pre-sleep decision to face the opponent head on, rather than running away. If one can face the frightening pursuer, the dream figure will then appear in another form—one that allows for you to connect in a new way. Often in dreams, parts of ourselves that we find unacceptable do their best to get our attention, occasionally by scaring us into submission. Thus the dream tells us to listen more closely to our deeper pain and the needs that lie beneath it. Through acknowledging rather than ignoring the gremlins, we allow ourselves to gain important insights and reclaim buried treasures once left behind.

In a coaching session, I asked a woman if she would be willing to meet her gremlins through a creative process. She agreed and a powerful healing experience ensued. This woman decided to meet her gremlins head on, and even though at first it was difficult for her, she committed herself to draw pictures of her gremlins on a few sheets of paper. After each drawing was complete, her intuition gave her little messages which she wrote at the bottom of each page. Each message conveyed a feeling, and once she set about connecting the dots to these emotive messages, a memory was triggered. This triggering effect allowed her to remember a time as a child in which a teacher had told her she couldn’t draw. Over time her gremlins had limited her pursuit of art, yet once she decided to meet them, the emotional release provided her with rich insights and genuine healing. By allowing her gremlins to emerge in a space of compassion, she opened up to a process of reintegrating her creative gifts and was able to move her art to a new level.
After a bit of training, you may find that these gremlins are really giving you an opportunity to retrieve a part of yourself or reclaim a gift that you previously set aside. By nurturing your authenticity and exploring more of your creative nature you can be inspired to express your ‘true self’ and pursue your desires. As your authenticity grows, the gremlin’s voice and power also wanes, and eventually fewer thoughts will deter you from acting on and realizing your heart’s dreams.

Gremlins

     Don’t judge.  I had a nightmare yesterday that scared the crap out of me.  I dreamt that I was so scared to go on stage that I broke down into tears, and ran away.  OK, I don’t usually have stage fright so I shouldn’t worry right?  The problem with auditions are that they are high stakes.  You have one opportunity to make an impression and that is it.  They either see potential in you or they don’t.  I am starting to think that I need to get these gremlins under control or I am going to get myself into trouble. 

To DO list: finish bib, winger paper, variants, beethoven, gabrielli-GOOD TIMES

Serenity NOW

ok folks. first of all, sorry, I have been insanely busy as of late.  Just want to let you know that things have been going well.  We recently went on tour with the WE and it went well.  Applications are going out tomorrow, and papers are coming due. 

I am looking forward to midwest, and chri stmas